Behind The Scenes of Out of Cryo - Episode I
by Kitewalker
Summary: A humorous (and kind of inappropriate) behind-the-scenes look and interview with the cast of Out of Cryo. Fourth wall-breaking and spoiler-ridden. Contains swearing and references to events in the Out of Cryo fic.


WARNING: This is a stupid, silly, fourth-wall breaking scene that I wanted to do just because. If you dislike fourth wall breaking or feel like it would ruin the Out of Cryo series for you, DO NOT READ THIS. Also, I shouldn't have to say this but this contains MAJOR SPOILERS for Out of Cryo - Season 1.

If you want a laugh, read on. :)

* * *

(Set: an open space in a studio – a white background. Several chairs have been grouped in stadium-like seating next to each other. One chair is situated away from the group – obviously there for the interviewer.)

(The cast of _Out of Cryo_ enters and sits down, giving each other nods of acknowledgement, death glares, or playful slaps on the back/shoulder. A Watcher also waddles into the room and stands next to the cast.)

Jeff Collins: (well-built guy in a polo shirt and slacks sporting an unfortunately orange tan - looks like he should be an extra on _The Jersey Shore._ ) _***glances nervously at the Watcher** * _Er…should that thing be here?

Aloy (sitting on the lower row of seats, flanked by Becks and Erend): **_*awkwardly sips skinny pumpkin-spiced latte*_** It's fine – it's harmless.

Hephaestus: _THIS UNIT IS EQUIPPED WITH COMPLETE WARFARE AND COMBAT SUITE. LAUNCHING ATTACK IN 3….2…1… ***eye light turns red***_

Jeff: **_*backs away quickly, nearly knocking over the chair*_** Holy shit – get that thing away from me!

Vanasha (sitting in upper row, next to an eager Talanah and a rather grumpy-looking Sona): **_*is clearly unfazed by the scene before her*_** Really? We're starting with this already? I've got an assassination to take care of and then an appointment in two hours and we all know the Sun King doesn't like to be kept waiting.

Becks: Cool it, Heph. No one gets your jokes. Also, **_*turns to Vanasha*_** I'm sorry, did you say you had an _assassination_ to take care of?

Hephaestus: _KILL ORDER CANCELLED. ***light turns blue***_

Jeff: **_*sits back down, eyes on Heph the entire time*_** Right…so uh…yes! Here we are with the cast of _Out of Cryo_ after an exciting and monumental conclusion to the first part of what will hopefully be a long-running series!

Aloy: **_*sips, drips coffee on floor*_** This is actually _really_ good! **_*turns to Becks*_** What did you say it was called? A 'ladle'?

Becks: A 'latte'. You're-you're spilling everywhere, Aloy. That's not how you drink it-

Aloy: **_*glares at cup*_** Whoever designed this cup was obviously not thinking people would actually _use_ it.

Becks: **_*mutters*_** Right…it's _their_ fault that you can't drink properly.

Jeff: ANYWAY, I get the rare opportunity to ask the cast some questions our audiences submitted and get a behind-the-scenes glance at what it was like making _Out of Cryo_ as well as some sneak peeks at what the future holds for our favorite characters!

Erend: Make it quick, yeah? I've got important things to attend to as well!

Vanasha: **_*smirks*_** …I'm sure you do. **_*reaches out and picks up a strand of Aloy's hair*_** Are these new beads? They _are_ , aren't they? Lovely, just lovely.

Aloy: **_*her face turns a light pink. She seems intensely focused on her latte.*_**

Becks: **_*flashes dirty look at Vanasha*_** Let's just answer these questions so you can get to your appointment-

Vanasha: Assassination, dear.

Becks: Whatever! **_*pouts while the rest of the cast exchanges amused glances*_**

Jeff: RIGHT. So, Aloy, you've found out the truth behind what happened to the Old Ones, defeated HADES, saved Becks, and rebooted GAIA so that a new generation of humanity can absorb the knowledge of the previous civilization. Do you think you've changed for the better since meeting Becks?

Aloy: **_*fidgets with cup while thinking of an answer*_** Um…well, I think it's been kind of a strange…adventure. **_*looks over at Becks – a small smile crosses her features – Becks grins before looking away*_** But I've certainly learned new things and I really appreciate everything Becks has done for me.

Talanah: **_*mutters*_** I'll bet she does. **_*She, Vanasha, and Erend burst into laughter*_**

Jeff: **_*doesn't get the joke but attempts to move on*_** Let's talk about the filming itself. What was the most exciting scene you had to shoot?

Becks: Well, the first rappel scene after we met Heph was pretty intense. **_*laughs*_** I mean, I had to jump off a fucking cliff and no one told me how that was going to go down until afterwards.

Aloy: You did well enough for someone who had never done it before.

Jeff: **_*glances worriedly at Becks*_** Er…yes, let's try to keep the profanity to a minimum if possible since we're being broadcasted on multiple networks and-

Becks: Really? There's a battle and crazy people firing weapons at me AND we had sex twice in the story and you want me to watch my language?

Erend: Wait…sex? You guys-

Talanah: Well, almost three times, if you count the one Vanasha and I interrupted.

Vanasha: That was adorable.

Aloy: **_*chokes on latte*_**

Jeff: Erm…yes, moving on then. How do you see-

Erend: No, wait – you two were getting it on _during_ the filming? Isn't that like-

Becks: **_*throws up hands*_** You know what – forget I said anything.

Sona: I don't even know why we're here. I've got an army of Braves to train. And isn't she supposed to be recovering? **_*points to Becks*_**

Jeff: Ahem, yes – exactly what I was going to ask next. Becks, how _has_ your recovery been?

Becks: **_*adjusts her chair – looks uncomfortable as she glances at her arm*_** Well, um…it hasn't been easy. I've had to relearn a lot of basic movements and uh…it's probably better if you read the next few episodes.

Jeff: **_*doesn't seem the least bit concerned*_** About that! What can readers expect from future _Out of Cryo_ installments? Will you two be getting married?

Aloy: 'Married'? What's that?

Becks: Er...I'll tell you later.

Jeff: How about children?

Aloy: **_*accidentally crushes coffee cup*_**

Becks: _Kids?_ I mean, shit, we couldn't even take care of a fucking Watcher.

Jeff: As I said before, we _do_ have a variety of audiences listening, Becks, so if you could _please_ take it easy on the profanity-

Aloy: I'll be helping Becks recover. It won't be easy. The next few episodes will be some of the darkest that the story's had yet.

Jeff: Wonderful! **_*ignores confused looks the cast is giving him*_** How about Kitewalker? Any thoughts on working with her?

Aloy: **_*shrugs*_** She's not terrible. I think she drinks too much coffee and is kind of moody.

Becks: Would be nice if she didn't keep trying to fucking kill me.

Jeff: I…yes, but the swearing, Becks-

Sona: She's a heartless bitch who cares nothing for the plight of others and only wishes to entertain the masses through the deaths of my people.

Vanasha: I'm sorry, who are we talking about? I've got to get going – this has been real nice, but you people need to do something better with your time. **_*gets up and walks out*_**

Talanah: She thinks Thunderjaws are _cute._ I think she's been taking the wrong kind of herbs from Teresa over in Meridian Village.

Erend: Uh, look – I was told there'd be beer here and I don't see any. I'll be back. **_*gets up and leaves as well*_**

Hephaestus: _SYSTEM HAS RETRIEVED MORE THAN ENOUGH DEAD FLORA FOR KITEWALKER._

Jeff: Fabulous. Well, **_*seems to be relieved his part of this is over*_** that seems to be all the time for questions we have today! We welcome our readers to submit their own questions so that we can ask the cast in a future behind the scenes interview! Stay tuned for future episodes of _Out of Cryo_ and have a wonderful night, everyone!


End file.
